Happy Valentine’s Day

Will you be mine?

It’s sickening when you’re single, and let’s face it, it isn’t much better when you’re attached. But it isn’t the idea of V-day that makes me shudder, it’s the way that the media takes it and rams it down our throats.


This morning, I woke up and didn’t give a second thought to which saints’ day we were supposed to be celebrating (hang on, did Saint Valentine even exist?). I turned on the television, as I do every morning to wake myself up a bit, and unfortunately ITV was what I was watching the evening before – so GMTV was what I was woken up to this morning. From what I could see, the whole program was going to focus on 50 couples renewing their wedding vows in Blenheim Palace. This I did *not* want to watch at 7.20 in the morning – not some z-list band singing love songs, surrounded by couples gazing into each others’ tearful eyes… pass the sick bucket this way please.


This would all probably be different if I had my own other half to gaze adoringly at over a candlelit dinner tonight, but I don’t, so it isn’t and you’ll just have to read my rant.


So, I switched over to the BBC – warm, friendly and reliable – Natasha and Bill, aaah much better. Bombings in Iraq, squabbles over the engagement of Charles and Camilla and the odd person emailing/texting in their views that we can all chuckle over while eating our cornflakes. Not a heart shaped item in sight. Fabby.

Safe at work

I made it all the way to work without hearing another mention of St V. Open up firefox, homepage defaults to Google – so I’m left staring at a heart made out of roses, cleverly constructed in place of the first ‘o’. Then, on to read my emails at GMail – they must be more ‘loved up’ over at GMail HQ – they’ve gone with cute red hearts flying out of the ‘M’-evenlope. It’s all very sweet.


Delivery guy comes through the main doors with a massive bouquet of flowers – all women in the office quietly hoping it is for them – he swooshes past everyone and continues upstairs. You can feel the womanly atmosphere sink and turn green. Yes, I was jealous of whoever received them.


When you work in Sh*tewater (Sheerwater) you don’t have many options for lunch – crusty cafes in West Byfleet, warehouse sized supermarkets on the way to Croydon or dank pubs in which ever direction you choose to travel in. So for a change, we drove into Woking. It’s a dump at the best of times, but we were only going there for food, not the stimulating culture or awe-inspiring scenery. We ended up in the food court in the Peacocks Centre, containing fast-food chains and 1 place you could get some non-artery-clogging lunch. The food was nice, but I was put off by the half-hearted attempt of trying to make the place look romantic (ok, so this would be a mammoth task for anyone – we’re talking chav central food court). I’m sure it looked nice this morning, but now all that was left was crinkled, ripped and stained white paper tablecloths and 2 drooping, tiny red roses in a plastic vase. Pure class.

In Conclusion

So that is why I hate V-day, all the fake romance, red hearts and fluffy teddies. I like it because it’s a day you have an excuse to have a nice meal out, dress up and generally fawn over your other half. I also like the original reason for V-day which is to send the person you fancy an anonymous card tentatively asking:

Will you be my Valentine?

Love from ?


The sender gets nervous as soon as it hits the bottom of the postbox, then the wait – did they receive it, do they know who it’s from and what will their response be? The receiver… well I wouldn’t know as I’ve never received a secret card (can you hear the miniature violins?). I can imagine though and I hope that it gives a lot of pleasure knowing that you are loved by someone.

7 comments on “Happy Valentine’s Day”

  1. “This would all probably be different if I had my own other half to gaze adoringly at over a candlelit dinner tonight”

    At least you have your own other half.

  2. Anonymous cards annoy me because I’d like to know who fancied me. Or if it’s the ex boyfriend again.

    Of course V-day is equally horrific if you’re on the verge of breaking up with someone.

  3. well even if u do have another half, it does not always mean that v-day will go swimmingly seeing as on th 14th i was on my death bed (well almost) had th hideous flu…so yeh not that great a day for me!!

  4. So, it has come round again – GMTV are again renewing people’s wedding vows, Google and GMail haven’t bothered and once again I have no v-day cards.

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